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23.9 one week later

November 17, 2011 Leave a comment

So, this time last week, I set myself the challenge of making up for all that I had been avoiding doing before, and generally getting myself organised and sorting things out. How has it gone?
Well, firstly and most clearly, I have done the work that was required of me. I had the things to present to my teacher on Tuesday that were on my list of things to do, and I finished my other project this morning in time to hand it in. Admittedly, it was not as good as I had hoped. See below for a very long, detailed description of what went wrong with the computers, I returned very early this morning, managed to get it to print, and then had only a couple of hours to finish everything else, so they turned out rather rushed and not to as good a standard as I had intended.
Meanwhile, as well, I have written out a new list of things to do. My old list I only looked at once every few weeks, and it had some vague ideas of what I should be doing, and suggestions by some of when within the next few days it should be done, then I would on occasion look through it and cross a couple of items off. The new list gives a few points for each day, dividing the work I need to do in the week up, giving me specific projects to work on every day, precise goals to aim for point by point, and if I can follow it properly and keep adding to it as I go, I should be able to get everything done nice and quickly, barring any more computer related issues.
Then, though, there come the less good bits, I am still putting many things off until later in the evening rather than getting things done nice and early, with the single exception of work that needs to be done within the next few hours. I have been struggling with typing recently. Last year I comfortably managed to complete the nanowrimo challenge as well as staying up to date on all my other writing projects. This year, all those other projects have pretty much been put on hold, and I am still struggling to keep up to target with just that one. OK, so the last few days I have been having to spend a lot more time than usual on my university work, that has not given me as much time as I would have liked for typing or for my other projects, now that I have finished this project and organised the work for the next few days, I can get that all more organised, or at least get more done.
Finally, I said I wanted to get into interacting more with other people, talking with my neighbours and classmates and so on, that has not happened so far, I think it might need another week. Trouble is, not only am I a generally shy and quiet person, I know that I am and so often do not bother trying to be anything else, and everyone else knows I am so they do not expect anything else of me, which just makes it, those few times when I do actually want to go to someone and say something, feel just that little bit more awkward and difficult. What I think I need is just to start small, exchange a few words with one person when there is noone else around for them to be talking to instead, and once I have reminded them (and myself) that I can talk, gradually build up from there. We shall see how that goes this next week, then. Meanwhile, having had a busy day, and then put everything off all evening, it is now getting rather late, so I shall end here and get ready for bed, I think.

17.9 eleven

November 11, 2011 Leave a comment

It is now 11:11, 11/11/11
I just thought I would put that out there, I might well never get another chance.
Meanwhile, Philosophy Day chapter 3 will follow shortly…

Categories: Other stuff Tags: , ,

13.9 economy rambling

November 7, 2011 Leave a comment

I’ve gotten bored of those posts where I just go on and on about how I haven’t done much since last time, so I am sure everyone else must have as well. Instead then, how about more of the comments on random things that I’ve found out about?

I mentioned a while back, though chances are noone actually read it, that I have been trying to write a series of books on world history. It is going reasonably well so far, two written out, first draft at least, just need to go back, make sure I haven’t missed anything, trim down those parts where I go on and on about stuff noone cares about, try and make it actually worth reading, and then illustrate them and try to find a publisher.
Anyways, point is I have been researching something called the South Sea Bubble, and I thought it was interestingly relevant to recent news stories. The South Sea Company was a trading company formed after the war of the Spanish Succession, back in 1715. Originally the Company was to trade with Spanish American colonies, as part of the peace agreement, but the British government of the time came up with a plan, they would sell a large portion of the national debt to the company, which would then sell it on to investors as shares in the Company, and recieve an annual income equal to 6% interest on the debt, which apparently made some economic sense at the time.
Anyway, with the promise of profitable American trade and this garuanteed income from the government itself, the South Sea Company share price started to rise, interesting a number of new investors, and here the company directors saw an opportunity. They started advertising just how profitable the company would be, trying to induce the price to rise even higher, leant money for people that wanted to buy shares but couldn’t afford them, and then sold effectively virtual shares to senior politicians, with the agreement that when the share price rose, they could sell the shares back to the company for a profit. The result of this, of course, was that the politicians put a lot of effort into ensuring that the price did rise.
Seeing this, other businessmen started forming their own companies with vague aims and wild promises of great profits in an attempt to gain investors. And of course, with so many people seeing the success of the South Sea Company, many were willing to invest in other business ventures as well. So came a frenzy of share buying and of borrowing money to buy more, and of wild price rises, until the value of a single share of South Sea Company stock was ten times what it had been two years before.
Then, the results of the first year’s trading were due to be announced, and with the share price so high, many investors decided that was just the time to get out and grab their profits. Vast numbers of shares were sold then, causing their value to plummet, leaving many other investors in serious debt, including many influential politicians. Meanwhile, of course, the annual profits of the company were nowhere near what had been predicted, barely enough for them to stay in business at all. at the same time, whilst investors, businessmen, banks and other money lenders were finding themselves suddenly in serious debt, similar schemes were falling apart elsewhere in Europe, causing a widespread banking and money lending crisis.
It was not over yet, though, the interesting part is just begining. Over the following months, investigations were undertaken into the fraud and corruption that had allowed this whole mess to continue, and particularly the role played by various trusted politicians. as a result of these trials, the Chancellor of the Exchequer himself, John Aislabie, was arrested and imprisoned, whilst many other ministers were forced to resign.
With these sudden vacancies, one Robert Walpole managed to rise quickly through the ranks, becoming rather suddenly both Chancellor and also First Lord of the Treasury, as well as attaining a position from which he could insist on all the other government minsiters following his advice, gaining him so much authority he was granted the appellation ‘prime minister’ by journalists and the opposition party. He then started trying to fix the mess caused by the collapse of the bubble company, and to restore confidence in the government and banks. Numerous schemes for this were proposed over the following weeks, most infamously amongst them the motion raised that the directors responsible be tied into sacks with snakes and thrown in the river. Unfortunately this did not go ahead, and neither did most of the other similar suggestions, but Walpole did forcibly confiscate the assets of the directors and redistribute them amongst those that had lost the most money, which helped rather a lot.

Anyway, I just thought it interesting, and something other people around the internet might be interested in reading about. Meanwhile, just so you know, my work is not going very well, I am struggling to get anywhere near as much written as I am used to, I am disappointed with how badly I am writing and with many of my old ideas, whilst my new ideas are not yet detailed enough for me to start work on what I really want to do, and meanwhile I am repeatedly putting off working on redrafting and editing anything, so everything I did before is still not very good either.

7.9 new me

November 1, 2011 Leave a comment

What have I just done? I somehow managed to spend £50 on DVDs of some TV show I have never seen before. OK, so I said I need to be more impulsive and not let chances by, but I am starting to think I am getting too used to spending lots of money. In my defence, I have not spent much on myself before, these last ten years or so, I have bought myself a few books, and little else, even my parents often tell me I need to spend more rather than just leaving it all to pile up uselessly, and truth is, that added to what else I have spent recently on similarly impulsive decisions barely exceeds the contents of my two loose change jars.
What happened was that I tried to get into the habit of watching more TV, mostly catching up over the internet on stuff I had missed before, partly because I hadn’t seen the latest episode having not yet caught up on the one before, which I had not seen for the same reason, and so on, I seem to watch almost all my TV online at the moment, which means as well I miss out on the adverts of new programs coming soon. Anyway, particularly enjoying some things I have seen recently, I started wondering whether there was more I had missed, things I hadn’t heard of, or thought at the time I might not like, or only found out about half way through, or that were on channels I could not get, and so on. Obviously it would not be easy to compile a comlete list of everything I would have enjoyed watching, considering that would be a lot, so I have looked first to the sorts of generas that I like more than most and have seen less of than most. Asking advice, I have now a list of programs, have looked into them, seen which I find most interesting, and in the process found a website where I might be able to look into other things as well later.
Anyway, so there we go, I am now trying to make up for years of missed TV and of putting off buying much nice for myself. Another of a succession of changes in my life just recently. Earlier today I went out and bought some pot plants, one of which I intend to give to someone to thank them for their help and perhaps to show them that I have changed, that I am no longer just sitting there and accepting whatever happens. Now, all I have to do is actually get around to my university work and write these books I keep planning and putting off, where the last few days I have found it particularly difficult to motivate myself into doing any of those things, always leaving it for later, always feeling tired just as I go to do something, then awake again when I decide not to bother. Though, I have been feeling generally tired and hungry a lot lately, almost as though I have been doing too much work, though that should not be the case, since it started mostly when I stopped working hours every day.

Long rambling post there, so in conclusion, I find myself acting differently to I am used to, spending money impulsively, trying out new things, and avoiding any sort of work most days. they say some people once they reach a certain age enter some ‘second childhood’, I think, with this and various other changes earlier, I am entering a second adolescence, and only a couple of years after the original. Though, I intend to do it properly this time.

Update: Of course not watching TV at the times it is officially on will be of great help in planning the detailed timetable I will have to start writing out, given that that seems to be the only way to get myself to do anything productive before late evening, when I have put everything off so late there is not time enough to finish it all, and I really do not want to stay up late into the night doing even most of what I should have earlier.

3.9 memories

October 28, 2011 1 comment

I have decided that this morning, I am going to share with the world, or at least the half dozen or so people that will ever read this, possibly one of the most important lessons I should have learnt at school. I say should have, at the time I clearly wasn’t paying attention, but it all came back to me rather early this morning (after a slightly earlier night last night, having put lots of things off until rather late, I decided just this once I was not going to stay up late trying to get it all finished) and now suddenly I can see what I was missing before.
Simple enough, if you want to do something, just relax and let it happen.
They showed us this little trick, I don’t know how many people have seen this before, but they handed out these small metal washers, each tied to the end of a bit of string, we were set to holding the other end of the string in the air, keeping out hand perfectly still, and then told to concentrate all our energy on the washer and making it move from side to side, and of course, moments later, it starts moving, all by itself. Magic, right?
Not at all, even better, really. Frankly, moving a tiny piece of metal a fraction of an inch with your mind is pretty much useless, but this… What happens is that whilst the conscious part of your mind is simply thinking ‘move’, on a subconscious level you are working out how. Your hand, then, starts making these tiny imperceptable movements, causing this thing to swing back and forth, side to side, round and round (not up and down, it turns out), exactly as you want. It doesn’t need to be told, it doesn’t ask permission, or even let you know what it is doing. Effectively your hand knows how to do this, and makes its own decision, carrying out your instructions, whilst consciously I know I wouldn’t have the slightest clue how to even start trying.
It all goes to prove that the human mind and body are pretty impressive tools, that know exactly what they have to do, and how, and work at their best when you leave them to it. Thinking back, I now have a long list, just of those occasions I can still remember, of times when I relaxed and let things happen and they turned out much better than those times I thought I had to force every detail to be just right, to put in effort and attention into every little thing.
So there we go, whatever you are trying to do, you know how to do it, not yourself, but some part of you, on some level can do it perfectly, or pretty close to, so just relax and let it take control, see where you end up.

27.8 and some more

October 22, 2011 Leave a comment

So, not much going on in my life right now, getting my university wok done, bit by bit, otherwise the same as always, spending some time each day writing my various story ideas, time wasted trying to draw and so on, boringly usual stuff. Hence partly why I have not bothered coming on here much lately.

However, there are some intersting things going on elsewhere at the moment, and I thought, whilst I have stuff to be putting off, I might try commenting on them. So, the war in Libya, going quite well, it seems, though I have not yet seen much on the news about how well the new government is actually doing at running the place. Then again, no sign as yet of the division within the rebel forces, leading to the civil war I predicted earlier, though it is still early yet, most such rebel governments manage to last a few months before the real trouble starts.
Then, what of this news, things traveling faster than light. It popped up at just the right time to fit into my theory lectures, which are all about progress and change and uncertainty about what reality is, very interesting if not much linked to architecture. So, it seems the new theory is that they were not going faster than light, which is still impossibly, they only slipped outside of reality for a moment, into some other dimension where time and space work differently. This might, then, be evidence in favour of this ten-dimensional string theory that has been hanging around for a while, which suggests that there might be many more dimensions than we know of, just that we are unable to see them. Also fitting nicely into the following lecture, as did the idea that the whole universe is made up of different forms of energy, and that all that differentiates them into separate objects are our minds.
So yes, interesting news of late, shame about my own life. I was thinking earlier about opportunities missed before, things I never got to do whilst growing up, but sitting here typing this, I am thinking about opportunities missed later, about how perhaps I should be making more effort to do something useful with my time now, such that I have less cause for regret later on.

One final note, nanowrimo is coming worryingly close, I still have not started planning for it, I have only the roughest idea what might happen, but whole new places need to be added to the series, lots of new characters, interesting plot lines created, and existing ones resolved satisfactorially, and if I have not worked enough of that out in about a week, I will have to once again try to make it up in rather a rush, which only occasionally works out well, and never in a sequel before.

16.8 been away too long (3)

October 11, 2011 Leave a comment

It has been far too long since I last bothered to update my blog, I have been meaning to for days, but every evening, after putting it off for later, or simply forgetting, I decide it is too late and leave it for the morning. truth is, for once there is quite a bit to say, on a wide range of different topics, so I thought, rather than one really long post on every last detail, I shall break them up into different topics.

So, what else is going on? Well, it has been rather hot these last few days, I suppose that is something. Meanwhile, I am starting to settle into my new place living at university, of course I would rather be at the other university I applied for, but that did not work out. Though, my room is still rather a mess, things all over the place, nothing well organised, I was intending to get everything organised nice and neatly this year, but that has not worked out so far, and little chance of that changing any time soon.
Oh yes, another complaint, it seems my blog is full of little else, this afternoon I went and bought something from the local market, only to get back, unpack it and find it was broken. I had been intending it as a present for my brother, and it did cost rather a lot, but now, I will just have to hope I can go back and complain and get a replacement.
And then, I have also started working out, I don’t know why, it just sort of happened. I always used to be really small and thin, you know how some people can touch their thumb and finger around their wrist, I used to be able to do that just about anywhere up my arm. A few years ago I made an effort to change that, but got bored after a few months, decided it did not matter and hardly thought about it again. Then, a couple of weeks ago now I suddenly started wondering if I should start again, just an idea that came to me out of nowhere, but it stuck around, and after a while I began considering it more seriously, and planned out a few ideas, well, started planning, the current arrangement built itself up gradually over the following days, so it is a little disorganised. Basically, though, I decided on a few simple exercises that I could do in my bedroom, and an arrangement to do more of each every week, it is now just getting to the part where the amount I have to do is getting a little difficult, but the actual exercises perhaps a bit easier. Anyway, early days yet, but we shall see how that goes.
What else, I have started drawing again too, I used to try sketching before, I was never that good, reasonable but not really good, certainly not any time I was not copying from an existing picture, this time I am drawing on the computer as well as on paper, and actually, where I am still not that good, and having to do everything really carefully, it is taking up a lot of my time. Sure, it is something I enjoy doing, but really it is not leaving as much time as I would like for my other projects.