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7.9 new me

What have I just done? I somehow managed to spend £50 on DVDs of some TV show I have never seen before. OK, so I said I need to be more impulsive and not let chances by, but I am starting to think I am getting too used to spending lots of money. In my defence, I have not spent much on myself before, these last ten years or so, I have bought myself a few books, and little else, even my parents often tell me I need to spend more rather than just leaving it all to pile up uselessly, and truth is, that added to what else I have spent recently on similarly impulsive decisions barely exceeds the contents of my two loose change jars.
What happened was that I tried to get into the habit of watching more TV, mostly catching up over the internet on stuff I had missed before, partly because I hadn’t seen the latest episode having not yet caught up on the one before, which I had not seen for the same reason, and so on, I seem to watch almost all my TV online at the moment, which means as well I miss out on the adverts of new programs coming soon. Anyway, particularly enjoying some things I have seen recently, I started wondering whether there was more I had missed, things I hadn’t heard of, or thought at the time I might not like, or only found out about half way through, or that were on channels I could not get, and so on. Obviously it would not be easy to compile a comlete list of everything I would have enjoyed watching, considering that would be a lot, so I have looked first to the sorts of generas that I like more than most and have seen less of than most. Asking advice, I have now a list of programs, have looked into them, seen which I find most interesting, and in the process found a website where I might be able to look into other things as well later.
Anyway, so there we go, I am now trying to make up for years of missed TV and of putting off buying much nice for myself. Another of a succession of changes in my life just recently. Earlier today I went out and bought some pot plants, one of which I intend to give to someone to thank them for their help and perhaps to show them that I have changed, that I am no longer just sitting there and accepting whatever happens. Now, all I have to do is actually get around to my university work and write these books I keep planning and putting off, where the last few days I have found it particularly difficult to motivate myself into doing any of those things, always leaving it for later, always feeling tired just as I go to do something, then awake again when I decide not to bother. Though, I have been feeling generally tired and hungry a lot lately, almost as though I have been doing too much work, though that should not be the case, since it started mostly when I stopped working hours every day.

Long rambling post there, so in conclusion, I find myself acting differently to I am used to, spending money impulsively, trying out new things, and avoiding any sort of work most days. they say some people once they reach a certain age enter some ‘second childhood’, I think, with this and various other changes earlier, I am entering a second adolescence, and only a couple of years after the original. Though, I intend to do it properly this time.

Update: Of course not watching TV at the times it is officially on will be of great help in planning the detailed timetable I will have to start writing out, given that that seems to be the only way to get myself to do anything productive before late evening, when I have put everything off so late there is not time enough to finish it all, and I really do not want to stay up late into the night doing even most of what I should have earlier.

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