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28.4 – back to work

I have decided that the time has come to make a new start, to get things sorted out properly. Too many days these last couple of weeks I have managed very little work, I have piles of stories that need writing and editing, I have as yet managed little on any of them, other than the bare minimum that I think enough, and that all late in the evening and all writing out new work such that I can claim a certain number of words done and keep up my average, words badly planned out and that might never even reach second draft stage if I continue like this, but at least they are something I can measure afterwards and know I have achieved.

Now, though, I am determined to spend more time working on these projects, and earlier, not just an hour or two rushed late at night. I have already made a start, reading through and editing some of my work, though it is still proving difficult to do what I have to do, to fill the huge holes in one story, I know little of what should go in them, and to add little details to two others, if I can ever find the right places for them. I have some idea of how much I would like to do each day, certain numbers of pages on various projects, though I might well not manage all of them every day. At least, though, I can insist that I get plenty done earlier in the day, before I let myself do anything else. And perhaps in doing so, I can find that I still enjoy doing this, it is often so, that I put something off too long, but when I start, I soon get into it again and enjoy the work and don’t want to stop. It seems what I most like doing is whatever I am doing at the time, and of course each day always starts with me not doing anything.


Meanwhile, it has been rather hot these last couple of days, just as we have finished being busy, shopping for presents, preparing parties, that sort of thing, and I have time to do what I want, it is now uncomfortably hot and difficult to concentrate. A couple of days ago, I found myself thinking that it was unusual to think of it being this warm at that time of year, then I suddenly realisd it was the middle of summer. We have barely had a summer, until now, winter appeared to have faded almost straight into autumn again, and now this. We had hailstones last week, and the temperature was moving towards 40 yesterday. It is true that we talk about the weather a lot here, but this year it seems there is really a lot to talk about. Yesterday, though, I did hear that we have been having less really hot days these last few years than we used to. They say the world is getting warmer, but it seems that is rather an oversimplification, hot days are less common, but hotter, winters are milder but more dramatic weather seems more common and more extreme. Anyway, enough rambling on this topic, I could go on about this all day.


Instead, how about a topic I could rant about all week. In fact, I have been, and really can’t be bothered to go over it all in detail once again. So, supposedly I just got my university results. A complex system, they put the preliminary results on the internet a few weeks ago, then we wait until the final results come through yesterday. The preliminaries are against a pink background and the finals against purple. However, the table where they are given has been stripes of purple and blue all year, other than a couple of days after the pink results came through, and if these are the new purple results, they are no different, and against the same colour backgrounds as they have been for weeks. Anyway, I have an awkward conversation ahead when I go into university later, trying to persuade them to let me go back next year, if I still can. It seems I may have just failed by about the smallest amount I could have, to the extent that when I seemed to be failing by more than that, one of my grades was subtly raised slightly, for no apparent reason.

Not that there is any reason for the grades to be so low, I am sure I have done rather better than last year, and yet on average have lower results, not sure how that could have worked, I forgot just how bad my last year’s work was, I simply couldn’t imagine it before I went and looked through it all again a few weeks ago, every part of it was a mess, other than the bits that were entirely missing, and teh whole covered in little stickers with excuses and apologies on them. I shall have to look through their criterea, it ought to be somewhere around the website, see if I can find there what I might have failed on, I simply cannot think of anything. I have suspicions that my work having not printed out like it had looked on the screen may count against me, even though it was their printer that was wrong, and perhaps even that they may have missed some things. I have done everything they said I should, and yet, as always, it seems following every bit of advice and feedback I get is still not enough for me to so much as pass, never mind get a decently high grade, I am sure there are lots of things they simply aren’t telling me. Though, they have agred to sit down and talk me through it all, whatever happens, perhaps then I might find out more, though I am far from optimistic. I am sure all I had to do to pass was have all the work done, I don’t remember anything about high standards of presentation and such like until the higher grades.

Then, just to complicate things further, I was hoping to transfer to a different university next year, but have heard nothing from anyone about this, and have no idea what might happen if, for example, I have to trail a unit and redo all the work next year, alongside that year’s work. That is at least highly discouraged in the last year, if not entirely forbidden, though I am sure I could manage, I am used to having lots of work to do, and am planning a new timetable of getting it all done earlier. And I have no idea what the rules are at this other university, having heard nothing from them. Still, there is nothing I can do here and now, I would have to look into all these things, try to find out more, and try to persuade a lot of people to let me do what I have to. Perhaps some other time I can come back and let you know what is going on.


And finally, on a lighter note, it seems it is Tau day today, like Pi day, but for Tau, which is apparently a similar number that actually works better, but which isn’t used simply for the sake of tradition. There was a whole bunch of complicated maths, the sort I might have been interested in a few years ago, whilst I was still in practice at that sort of thing. It sounds interesting, and I can sort of see their point, but I doubt it will much affect me. So, end of a very long post, trying to sort of make up for not having much here these last few weeks. A lot going on, and I simply haven’t been bothering with this place at all, though admittedly three months is rather longer than most of my diaries last.

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