Home > University > 29.2 discussions about work

29.2 discussions about work

A little late getting back here, I hope I can make up for that.

Anyway, a few weeks ago now, I sent an email to my tutor, asking their advice on a wide range of different difficulties I have been having with my work, pretty much all of those covered in earlier posts here, and some days later I recieved a reply. Not a very nice one, though. It was politely written, and not anyhere near as rude about my work as I have been often before, but yet it still contained within it little bits and pieces that suggested everything I had done was not good enough, and that my only real hope of passing is to do whatever they tell me to, whatever I might think of that. So, after putting that off as long as this, just now I have sent a realy very long email to someone that I think might even care enough to read all of it, with both my request for advice and the reply and a lot of my comments on that.

I am not going to repeat it here, curious after I checked and the whole runs on for 2600 words, but after pouring out my thoughts on the subject for so long, and with little restraint, it has produced some interesting points that I have avoided sharing with anyone.

I have almost, but not quite, criticised my tutor for her vague and now contradictory advice, particularly the point where she has criticised my own work for a range of things, almost all of which she is now trying to persuade me to replicate. she would like me to abandon my idea and start again near the end of the project, which rarely worked out well before, she would like me to take on a totally new design idea with no concepts or precedents attached, just a couple of paragraphs after assuring me that those are amongst the most important parts of the whole coursework. I have also at last clearly stated outright my opinion that these criticisms and others amount to her saying that everything I have done is uttery wrong, and ought to be scrapped.

And I have pointed out all those questions that were not answered, those about how I could improve my work, about whether certain things might make it any better, and made even more clear than ever before my thoughts on their failure ever to tell me exactly what it is I have been doign so wrong all along, even now I have little idea, a few suggestions but no certainty that any of them is of particular importance, regarding my particularly low grades in some projects.

Then, towards the end, I express my opinion that I do not think like an architect, or an architectural student, but in such a way that it is clear, I hope, that I think I am right not to see every design as a chance to show off and create something dramatic without considering what others might think or want. And, I have repeated clearly and directly my mother’s recent advice, that I should give up on doing what I think is right and just follow along with whatever they tell me the right way is, such that I can get some reasonable grades for a change. Let’s see what they think of that. I have actually started thinking I eve want my tutor to take a look at it, I made a few changes shortly before sending it, so as not to offend them too much if they do happen to see it all. It will be interesting to see what their reaction is to all this suddenly, after so long of just complaints that I never tell them anything and that they have to try to piece together little bits of what work I am supposed to have been doing.

I think it is something to do with all this time I have been spending at home, I felt a lot better there, like I was any normal person, instead of as shy and careful as I am here and elsewhere, never saying or letting on any more than I have to, and it seems that hasn’t worn off yet. If anything, I was talking and joining in even more over the last few weeks than I have any time I can remember, certainly the last few years, I am slowly getting better, it seemse, just much more so around family than anywhere else.

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